Winner of the "National Best Books 2009 Awards" under Women's Issues.
This book is a collection of writings by parents, about babies who were loved and wanted.
This book is also about the parents themselves, who faced a most agonizing decision before their baby’s birth. For these families, the
“right" choice was to terminate the pregnancy. Their written narratives demonstrate the honest, soul-searching deliberation required for
making such a solemn decision. They looked into their hearts, examined the evidence before them, and based their decision on their assessment
of realities--their emotional, physical, medical, financial, familial, cultural, social, spiritual, educational, and logistical realities.
And all of these parents came to the conclusion that the better path for their babies was to end their pregnancies and say goodbye to the
precious life they’d conceived.
After meeting the challenge of deciding and carrying through,
these parents still face the challenge of living with their decision. While every story is unique, parents share an emotional common ground of
grief, coping, adjustment, and healing. If you too terminated a pregnancy, you can see yourself reflected in various aspects of these parents
experiences and perspectives, and find comfort in the realization that you are not alone. If you question their decision, you may come to
understand that these parents bravely and unselfishly entered the suffering of grief in order that their babies be spared another kind of
suffering. If you work with parents who face the decision to terminate a pregnancy, reading this book can sensitize you to the emotional
aspects of this kind of perinatal death. Listening to these parents' stories can inform the way you deliver care and inspire you to approach
these families holistically and as a collaborator in their care. If you are a policy maker, these narratives can provide you with the awareness
and education you need to advocate for better care and support for parents who face heartbreaking choices. You will be inspired by the courage
and strength these parents demonstrate.
To comfort, inform, inspire, and improve care - this
book’s heart is in just the right place, and is a powerful legacy for these babies. What an honor to meet their parents.
—Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. - Author, Empty Cradle, Broken Heart and
Loving and Letting Go
A woman's story is her truth,
and the truth about the heartbreaking choices described in this book is that once you've heard the stories, you will never think the same
way about abortion again. Our Heartbreaking Choices is more than a book; it is a solace to those faced with similar situations, a lesson in
empathy for those inclined to judge women's childbearing choices, and a message of healing and peace for all.
—Gloria Feldt, author, activist, former president Planned Parenthood Federation
of America
Women who have made the agonizing decision to terminate a pregnancy for fetal
or medical indications often feel bereft, isolated and unsupported. Our Heartbreaking Choices provides much needed solace and comfort to women
and their families as they navigate these truly treacherous waters.
For those lucky enough not
to have faced these difficult issues, this book will be an eye-opener and a heart-opener. Forty-six women courageously tell us stories of great
hardship, courage and ultimately, love. As an abortion provider, I am so gratified that this book has been written. I highly recommend it to all
who want to have a more complete understanding of abortion, in all its complexity.
—Dr. Shelley Sella, MD - Women’s Health Care Services
Appendix A of Our Heartbreaking Choices is a very thorough overview of prenatal testing and screening
options over the years with detailed information of the process from discovery of abnormalities in the pregnancy through the options, costs, and
laws. And then the stories...46 courageous families pour out their stories from very obviously-broken hearts. The stories are hard to read because
they demand an emotional response that we (health care providers) are often trying to control in our interactions with patients, but they fulfill
a need for families entering into and attempting to heal from this gut-wrenching process.
—Sally Shields, RN, CGC